Mark Twain's Quotes***

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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.....
Mark Twain.

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Pictures of Mark Twain...*[1]*[2]*[3]*[4]*[5]*[6]*

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Mark Twain(1835 -1910)

Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase
by heart,and if all other music should perish out of the
world it would still sing to me...Mark Twain

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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

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To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
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There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

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The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress;

but I repeat myself.

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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

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One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie,

is that a cat has only nine lives.

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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

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Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.

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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.

It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

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I've never let my school interfere with my education.

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I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

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Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

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By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

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A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

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here is a link to...Will Rogers's quotes

and one to...FUNNY COMMEDIANS

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